Another Half Of Me - Chapter 38

Roshni was sitting in the balcony when Dr. Sunil walked inside her room. Looking at her, he felt the same way he had felt when he had seen her 2 years ago. The only difference was she had grown thinner in the last 2 years. Her nightmares had also increased, and she was becoming more and more violent day by day.

The doctor wheeled her in and sat down next to her.

“Will you never speak to me?”

When Roshni did not reply, he sighed and went out.

Slowly as the sun started to set on the horizon, darkness surrounded her. Not feeling anything, Roshni sat in the middle of the room staring at the darkness around her. Slowly her heart realised that there was again someone in the room. This time she heard his voice, calling her, beckoning her to him. She wanted to get up and run away from him but couldn’t.

A burning sensation started in her toes and then,  spread to her whole body. 

A child’s shrill cry pierced her eardrum but still she couldn’t get up.

My baby is burning. I have to save it.

Everything around her started to burn and she saw him standing in front of her, laughing hard as the blast blurred her vision.

Roshni shrieked at the top of her voice as her body shook with pent-up anger and pain.

Dr. Sunil rushed inside the room with the nurses and switched on the light. Clutching her hands, he tried to restrain them from scratching her body. Without thinking at all, he gestured to the nurse to inject the tranquiliser.

As the liquid melted in her blood, Roshni anguished screams turned into soft groans and she collapsed in the doctor’s arms.

**************

Siddha got out of the car and started to climb the stairs. Reaching the door, he opened it and looked inside. Everything was in its place: only she wasn’t there. He crossed the threshold and walked towards the bedroom.

Sitting on her side of the bed, he pressed his temple. Although, it had been 2 years since the blast, still the pain of losing her was fresh in his mind. He still saw her when he closed his eyes. His pillow still became wet every night when he cried for her in his sleep. Nightmares of the blast still haunted him. He was still alive and she was still dead.

He looked at the bedside table and picked up her photograph.

I know I have to suffer more than this to reach you. But, at least, someday I will.

Sighing he got up from the bed as Rudy came and stood near the doorway.

“Bhaiji, Sid and Punditji are here,” he said looking down at the ground.

Siddha nodded and gestured him to tell them to wait. He needed some time to digest the fact that it was her 2^nd death anniversary tomorrow.

*****************

Roshni was sleeping under the influence of the tranquiliser as Dr. Bhargava checked her pulse. It was steady as any normal human being but her mental state was nothing like a normal one.

Looking at her, the doctor thought, she looked so innocent and sweet. How can someone think of destroying such a beautiful creature?

Since two years, he had been trying to treat her but nothing was helping. Every test of hers, every diagnosis said that she should not be alive, but she still was. There was something in her eyes that told him every time he looked in them that she was waiting for someone.

The doctor got up and went out. When is it going to be enough for her?

****************

Siddha woke the next morning with a severe headache. Sleep had eluded him completely the previous night. Not even the sleeping pills had helped. As he sat on the bed, every detail of the ill-fated day played in his mind. Shaking his head hard, he tried to block everything in his mind but couldn’t. He flicked a glance at the door hearing the commotion outside. He could hear Rudy calling him but he did not want to open the door and let the world in.

Forcing himself to get up, he walked towards the door and opened it. Everything was ready for the pooja but the only thing he saw was the back of her photograph. Somebody had put a garland around it. Anger speared his mind and he gave a thundering look to Rudy. Understanding him perfectly, Rudy quickly rushed towards the picture and took the garland off.

20 minutes later Siddha was sitting in front of her photograph performing all the rituals in a mechanical manner. Since the pooja had begun he had avoided her eyes but now as the pundit told him to feed her some sweets, he looked straight into those eyes, which had captured his soul.

A hard knot of pain coiled mercilessly around his heart and his temples throbbed relentlessly. As he applied the sweet on her lips, he felt her lips kissing his fingers and his hand shook with effort. Suddenly his gaze fell on the partition of her hair. It was empty. Picking some vermillion from the plate, he applied it on the partition.

Tears fell down his cheeks slowly as he realised how their dream had been shattered. Something snapped inside him as the sound of the blast reverberated in his ears and he saw her photograph go up in flames.

Siddha screamed hard clutching his head. Rudy rushed towards him and held him as Siddha’s body fell motionless in his lap.

Siddha’s consciousness returned more than 15 minutes later. Rudy and Sid helped him sit on the bed and he saw his grandparents looking at him frowning.

“You can’t stay here,” Nanaji said.

“Yes, he is right, Siddha, come home now, please,” Chachaji implored.

“This is my home.”

“You will never be able to forget her if you stay here,” Dadaji said in an irritated tone.

Looking at him, Siddha smiled. Her memories were the only thing he had. He has to live. Being alive was his punishment.

“I can’t even die without her memories.”

Dadaji was about to refute when he raised his hand and stopped him.

“The day I die is the day I leave this house.”

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