Another Half Of Me - Chapter 32

Roshni was looking the same direction when Dr. Sunil came to check her in the morning. The only difference he found was that they had removed the bed. Instead she was lying on sheet on the ground, her back resting against a chained barricade. As the doctor hunched closer to check her, his nostrils were hit by a filthy smell.

Looking around her, he realised that the sheet she was lying on was covered with her urine and faeces.

Not able to take it anymore, he stood up and turned to face the goons.

“Why are you treating her like this? What’s the use of me treating her if you can’t even get her cleaned properly? This will infect her wounds.”

One of the goons came forward and raised a gun at his temple.

“You will do as you are told whether she is clean or not.”

Realising that there was nothing he can do, Dr. Sunil started to check Roshni’s pulse. As he looked around, he saw a plate of stale rice lying next to her. So, she hasn’t eaten also.

God please, do something. You have saved her then why this pain and torture?

*************

Siddha looked on the pundit narrated the rituals to him one by one. Getting up, he went towards the ambulance. She was covered completely in white sheet. Picking her up from the stretcher, he came out and started climbing the stairs of the electric crematorium.

Gently laying her on the movable trolley, he sat down next to her holding her head in his hands. As everybody applied ghee on her body, he kept staring at her covered face willing her to wake up.

“Bhai, it’s time,” Sid said in a broken voice helping him on his feet.

Siddha kept looking as they wheeled her inside the electric chamber. The flames engulfed her and she was turned into ashes in minutes.

He pulled away from Sid and started to walk towards the open area. Nothing mattered anymore. The world had ceased to exist for him.

Wiping his tears, Prashant came and placed his hand on Siddha’s shoulders.

“They are calling you for the ashes.”

The attendant handed him her ashes in a cremation urn. Siddha looked at it but did not feel anything. Slowly he climbed the steps of the Nigambodh Ghat to reach the river. Opening the urn, he emptied its contents in the Yamuna.

Siddha did not react at all when Amit took the urn from his hand. Everything was empty inside him including his hands. He kept on looking at the water as the ashes slowly submerged.

“Siddha, it’s time to go,” Dadaji said pressing his shoulder trying to make him move. He got up on his feet helped by Amit and Karan. They guided him towards the car.

Rudy looked at Siddha and couldn’t recognise him. His face and eyes looked completely blank. As they made him sit down, Rudy touched his arm. The heat of Siddha’s skin almost burned him. Blinking hard, he tried to control the tears in his eyes and started the car.

Siddha blankly stared at the road as the car stopped at a red light. Suddenly he saw Roshni walking through the crowd, her body engulfed in flames. This time he will save her. Opening the car door, he jumped out. 

Her burning face smiled at him and said in shrill accusing voice, “You killed me, Siddha. You killed your own child.”

Shaking his head, Siddha ran after her amidst moving traffic. Reaching her, he touched her hand but as he did, she turned into ashes in front of him. His body shook with violent reaction as he looked here and there for her.

Prashant and Rudy dragged him away just in time from the path of a speeding bus as Siddha collapsed in their arms. 

*************

Dr. Sunil was waiting for them at the bus stop as instructed. The moment the car stopped in front of him, he got in.

Govind, one of the goons looked at her sleeping form. One of their maids had cleaned her after the doctor had gone yesterday. Dumping the unfinished food, he looked at her again and thought. Why isn’t she eating? Wasn’t she hungry? Well, she has to be. She hadn’t eaten anything since 2 days.

Suja, one of the other goons came and stood beside Govind. Placing his arm on his shoulders, he said, “She has a good body.”

Smiling in a sickening manner, he leaned over and removed the sheet from her body. They had made her wear a t-shirt and torn pyjamas. Suja looked at the exposed skin of her neck and licked his lips.

Bending down, he flipped her to one side. Roshni’s eyes opened and she stared ahead. Her mind did not register what was about to happen to her. Suja removed her pyjamas till the knee and unzipped his pants. He was about to shove himself inside her when Dr. Sunil shouted from behind.

“Leave her now.”

Quickly, Govind pulled Suja away from Roshni. Scrambling around the room, they went away.

Looking away, the doctor pulled up her pyjamas and covered her with the sheet. Slowly, he straightened her and looked into her eyes. Same blank expression.

“He was about to rape you. Why didn’t you protest?” he asked her but she did not reply. Roshni kept staring in space without even blinking.

Sighing, the doctor kept on speaking to her about his day at work. He asked her about how she was feeling? Hoping that someday, she will respond, he continued his monologue.

*************

Siddha entered his bedroom and looked around. Feeling alienated, he slowly climbed down the stairs.

Everyone followed him as he stepped outside the house. He sat inside the car and waited.

Leaning close to him, Karan asked, “Where do you want to go?”

“Home.”

Shaking his head, Rudy understood where Siddha wanted to go. He started the car and drove towards Roshni’s house.

Siddha stepped out of the car and looked at the black marks on the road. He flicked his gaze at the door and almost saw Roshni rushing to him down the stairs. Slowly he climbed the stairs and opened the door.

Her stuff was still packed and lined up against the wall. Everything was in its place only she wasn’t there. He looked at the couch and saw them sitting together with arms twined as they watched tv. He saw them sitting on the dining table chatting, smiling and having breakfast. His gaze shifted to the kitchen and he saw her cooking for him calling him every now and then for tasting.

Transfixed by these memories, he gaze rested on the open bedroom door. He somehow managed to lift his feet to enter the bedroom. Closing the door behind him, he looked at the side of the bed where she used to sleep.

Slowly he sat down on the floor and touched the bed sheet. He could still feel the warmth of their love making from the night before he left for Bangalore. Picking up the pillow he pressed his face to it and her smell engulfed him. Hugging it, he rocked back and forth as he had rocked her when she used to sit on his lap.

His gaze suddenly fell on the picture frame on the bedside table. They were looking into each other’s eyes and smiling. Picking it up, he traced his fingers on her face. Suddenly, her face turned to the charred one he had seen in the morgue.

Crying out loud and screaming hard, Siddha clutched the picture to his heart.

He has killed her.

He has killed their child.

She was gone because of him. He was responsible for all of this.

“Roshni!” he screamed hard, rocking back and forth against the bed. 

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