Scarred Love - Chapter 44

Ishani looked at her watch and sighed.

10:30!

She picked up the phone and said, “Hey!”

“Have they slept?” Annie asked in a sleepy voice.

“Yep!”

“Finally! I was practically dozing off in the middle of it.”

Ishani wanted to laugh hard but all she could manage was a stifled yawn.

“Yeah! Now you also get some sleep tonight, Ish. No point fretting about that asshole.”

“Annie!” she retorted frantically before her friend went into her litany of abuses.

She hung up after Annie bid goodnight and sat down near the window. As she looked out at the sky, every little pore of hers cried out for him. Caring was a different thing altogether but this fretful agony had to be something else.

Do you love him? Suddenly her heart questioned her.

No, no way. It can’t be love. I cannot love him. He is not mine.

What if he is? You know he loves you.

No, he does not. If he did then he wouldn’t just leave like this.

Oh, Ishani, listen to yourself. What does that poor man have to do to prove that he loves you? It’s you who made him leave. Think what happened when Veera went away? Were you able to take it? No! You accepted it coz deep down you knew he wasn’t alive. But Rudra knows you are there, very much alive and kicking. So, how does he justify you not being with him?

I don’t want to tread on that path again. Love is nothing but pain.

Ishani, love is an awesome feeling. We become wonderful beings when in love. The pain is human nature. When something beautiful blooms, we humans tend to mar it by our selfish causes. That’s when the ugliness sets in; that’s when the pain slowly creeps in squeezing the love out.

For once look at the positive side and grab it before it obscures into nothingness.

But Veera?

He is dead, Ishani, you have got to accept that fact and move on.

She shook her head as her heart pestered her with all these arguments. Sighing, she closed her eyes and instantly his words filtered through her mind.

“I am sorry for everything. I am sorry that I came into your life and complicated it.”

No, you did not, she wanted to say. It was already complicated. My life was never a smooth one coz I am in love with someone who is can never be mine; one who does not even exist anymore.

Long-held tears spilt through her closed eyelids and fell on her hand. She opened her eyes as she felt their non-existent touch, and watched them as they slid down towards the window sill. As they got observed into the concrete, she closed her eyes again.

If only she could get observed into Rudra just the same way. She needed peace; the peace she had felt in the protectiveness of his arms and for once she wanted to let go of the barriers.

“I just wish I could be the reason for your happiness.”

As his words again resonated in her brain, she simply let herself go. Silent tears fell relentlessly till her eyes started to ache again. As her heart started to throb with the agony of again losing someone, she clutched the window rods as hard as she could and pressed her forehead to them.

If only there was any way she could bring him back.

Oh, Mahadev!

1 hour later, Ishani just couldn’t stay in the boarding house any longer. The constricting feeling in her chest coupled with her raging thoughts was suffocating her to the core.

She needed air.

Picking up her phone, she ventured outside in the garden and started to pace a little. The night air was cool but it did not calm her turbulent nerves. Not able to take it, she plopped on the stairs and rested her head on the side wall. And, as the night silence gripped her, her hand with the mobile rested on her knee and she lost herself in the stormy waves of the past.

*********************

“Dammit! She is not answering the phone,” Viman said disconnecting the call the second time.

Kabir dialled her number from his mobile but it kept ringing.

“Okay, Ram, do one thing. First, check the NGO and then her house,” Viman instructed as he slipped into the car.

Ram slid inside his car and went in the opposite direction. He cut the ignition and quickly jumped out of the vehicle the moment he reached the NGO. As he neared the gate, he could see a lone figure sitting on the steps and he didn’t need to second guess who it was.

He took the lever off the gate but it stayed put even after that. Damn, it’s locked. Now what?

How do I get in?

“Ishani Ma’am!” he called out but his strangled whisper just died in the night.

“Ishani Ma’am!” again and still nothing.

He kept calling her again and again but nothing. The gate and walls were too high for him to climb over. Finally, his patience gave away.

“GUDIYA DIDI!” he shouted at the top of his voice.

Ishani jolted to reality just as a name that she hadn’t heard for a long time fell on her ears.

Gudiya!

Veera’s mother used to call her that.

She looked around and saw someone standing at the gate. As she wiped her tears, her vision cleared and she saw Ram Singh, and she scrambled to her feet and ran.

“We found him,” she heard him say in one breath just as she reached him.

For a second her body became numb and then suddenly her heart slammed against her chest repeatedly as it galloped with the news. She took out the keys and unlocked the gate and simultaneously called out to Jithu.

“Let’s go!” she instructed Ram tossing the keys to Jithu.

The 20-minute drive was the most nerve-racking one for her. She wanted to ask Ram where he was and how he was, but somehow couldn’t actually find the right words. Her throat felt parched and dry and every cell in her body was screaming with anxiety.

However, the moment the car stopped in front of an under-construction building her heart plummeted to the ground. What was he doing here?

Kabir was standing outside with the phone in his ear and the moment his eyes landed on them, he hurried towards her.

“We were waiting for you.”

“What is this place?”

“This is Genus.”

Copyright © Paromita Majumder. All Rights Reserved.