The Stigma Called Love - Chapter 27

Aparna’s desperation knew no bounds by the time it struck 9:30 on the clock. She picked up her mobile and again went to the loft at the top floor. This time she found it open. As she stepped inside, the familiar smell of lemongrass hit her nostrils reminding her of Nishant’s office in Delhi, where he always kept an electric diffuser with the oil.

Somehow, it had always made her feel fresh and lively, but right now it made her remember his wonderful and handsome face. She turned on the light and found her standing in a huge master bedroom with a slant roof. There was a white L-patterned sofa extending from the entrance right till the other end. She entered the room and stood in front of the life-size mirror right next to where the sofa ended.

As she turned around, she saw a huge bed on the floor in the middle of the room. She could see his luggage still lying unpacked on the bed. Slowly, she went and sat on the bed, and pulled his bag to her. Opening it, she looked through the contents. Tears rolled down her eyes as she pressed one of the shirts to her face and his familiar smell engulfed her. Not able to control herself, she slipped on the shirt.

As she hugged herself, she felt as if he was hugging her.

Oh, Nishant!

Please come back. I can’t bear this anymore.

She was still trying to cope with this feeling when her attention was caught by a huge French window right next to the bed. As she went and stood there, the view of the mountains with all its twinkling lights took her breath away. She turned away from the window. Without Nishant these wondrous sights were meaningless.

Taking off the shirt and switching off the lights, she turned towards the door next to the mirror and ventured outside on the terrace. Even the view of the mountains from terrace was striking but, again without him nothing made any sense. She sat down on a stone chair lined with cushions and leaned against the wall.

Just come back to me please, she willed, hugging herself tight.

******************

Nishant opened the door of his bedroom and staggered to the sofa. Everything felt so empty. The darkness in the room echoed the feeling of loss inside him. Holding his head in his hands, he tried to stop the feeling of despair overwhelming him, but failed.

Why have I come back?

Because, you can’t stay away from her.

Seeing her face every day is the only way you can go on.

Shaking his head, he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. Slowly, everything came back to him and the heat of his tears burned his cheeks.

******************

Heaving a sigh, Aparna stood up from the stone chair. High time, she called Dhruv and told him everything. Maybe, he will bring him back. She opened the bedroom door and stepped inside.

She was still closing the door, when suddenly she heard someone’s broken sobs inside the room. Everything brightened with muted white light as she clicked the two-way light switch.

There he was sitting on the sofa, his head leaning against the wall. At first Aparna jumped with joy then suddenly her burst of happiness turned into indignation. She stood there staring at him with clenched fists.

Nishant’s senses came alive as he realised someone had switched on the lights. So, he was not the only one in the room. Fearing the worst, he opened his eyes slowly. As his vision adjusted to the brightness, he saw Aparna standing near the terrace door looking all piqued up.

But, her anger did not register, the only thing he saw was her face. For the past two days and nights, he had only wanted to her face that’s all. He just sat on the sofa and watched her as she moved towards him slowly.

Aparna saw him just sitting there and watching her, and her anger grew with each step she took towards him. By the time she reached him, she was boiling with rage. She watched him as he stood up.

Gritting her teeth, she tried to control her anger but couldn’t. Raising her hand, she slapped him hard.

As her fingers connected with his right cheek, Nishant felt their sting to his soul.

“What do you think of yourself?” Aparna asked shaking him.

Nishant’s head jarred every time she shook him but he said nothing. He just looked away trying to avoid her piercing eyes.

“Do you know how worried I have been? You were gone for more than 2 days. I have been worried sick for you. And, where is your phone?” he heard Aparna ask, but he could not reply.

She shook him again when he did not answer, and this time Nishant fell on the sofa and slid to the floor.

“Nishant!”

Aparna’s shout of concern shook him up. He pulled her forcing her to sit.

“Nishant, please come here,” she pleaded trying to pull him to the sofa.

“No, just listen to me,” Nishant said in a voice that shook with effort.

He took her hands in his and gulped down the tears forcing to escape.

“Aparna, I tried to stay away, I really tried, but I just couldn’t.”

She looked at his face as she heard the pain in his voice.

“I even thought of going away forever but then it started to pain here,” he said gesturing to his heart.

“It pained so hard that I thought I’ll die. But I couldn’t die, not with you away from me.”

Nishant’s tear-stricken voice darkened the clouds in her horizon. She clutched his hands in hers tightly trying to assure him that she was there with him.

He shook his head trying to clear his thoughts but somehow failed miserably. Suddenly remembering his behaviour the other night, he felt guilt mixed with anger spread through him.

“I am a horrible person,” he said, slapping himself.

“Nishant, please stop.”

“No, listen to me. I am a horrible person; I don’t deserve you at all. I am horrible.”

“Nishant, no!”

Suddenly he clutched her hands hard and said in a desperate voice looking straight into her eyes, “You can do whatever you want with me. You want to abuse me, you do that. You want to slap me, you do that. Destroy me if you have to. But please, Aparna, please don’t ask me to go away. I can’t live without you. I promise I won’t touch you. But please, don’t make me go away. I can’t stay without you.”

Aparna watched him as he pleaded with her in a broken tone. His tears and the anguish in his voice broke something inside her. She clutched his face in her hands and was about to say something when he buried his head in her lap sobbing hard.

“I love you so much. Please don’t throw me out of your life. I’ll die without you, Aparna. I’ll die.”

Tears streamed down her eyes, the moment she heard him. She wanted to say that she loved him too, but something stopped her. All she did was wrap her arms around his head trying to soothe him.

He felt her arms go around him but still that could not take away the intense throbbing of the nerves in his head. As he felt a sharp stab of agonising pain in his forehead, his fingers dug in her back, and then everything went black. 

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